|
lady_of_shallott
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Ashley
Country: United States
State: Florida
Birthday: 1/29/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: theater, pottery, music (particularly jazz, celtic, and acoustic/folk), swimming, poetry (Wordsworth, Blake, and Yeats), and strengthening my relationship with God, my family, and friends
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  ladyofshallott29
Member Since:
6/11/2005
|
|
| It's been so long I don't know if anyone will even read this, lol, but just wanted to let you all know that me and Luke are started a joint journal on here at xanga.com/Luke_and_Ashley_Wayne, where I will hopefully post more often than I did on here lol...well, I think that is all I have to say. | | |
| My friends Shayna and Vickey came to visit me while I was at the Seeing Eye. They decided I shouldn't go home without a dog, so they bought a lifesized german shepherd stuffed animal (I think I actually mentioned that part already but anyway...) Shayna sent my mother a picture of me and the stuffed dog, and she put it on her computer as backbround. Apparently my dad saw it and commented that he was glad I didn't keep the dog, because she was quite an ugly dog. He was being serious, he really thought that was Keisha. The picture I've posted here is not the stuffed animal but is in fact the real Keisha, in case anybody else might get them confused lol. I just thought that was amusing and worth writing about. | | |
| Now that I'm back in Tallahassee, I feel like it's only fitting to write one more entry about my guide dog experienceI wanted to write down other storeis involving Keisha that I hadn't written previously. I don't want to forget them. I was so surprised how quickly I began to become attached to her, and how happy I felt when I saw her respond to me. I realize that I enjoyed caring for her, that was a cool thing to learn. So anyway, on to the storeis.. One of my favorite moments happened the second day I had her. We had to put on the gentle leader (the device that lets us have better control over the dog's head, I mentioned it on one of the earlier posts). I as in the common lounge, and she was resting un er the chair. So I slowly put it on, and she was still asleep, so she didn't realize it. I was proud of that; I'd gotten it on without her knowing and a huge struggle. So when she got up when dinner was called for the people lol, she was not happy. I love how dogs shake all over and act so indignant lol. I was still enjoying the fact that I'd gotten one over on her as we went to dinner. During dinner I noticed that she was being particulalry well behaved under the table and even more odd, when Jenn (her trainer) walked by, she didn't try and bolt like usual. I knew something was going on and when I got up to leave, one of the other instructors informed me that she had manged to slide the muzzle part of the gentle leader off, it was still attached behind her ears, but I think if she'd had more time lol, she would have found a way to get the whole thing off. So I was humbled lol, I suppose we were even in our sneakiness. Another great moment was when I put her boots on. They look like little shoes lol, it is when you have to walk during extremely hot days, so their paws don't get burned by the cement. But of course the dogs don't understand the purpose of this. So I had her on tie down so I could get them on. After each one that I put on, she would hold up her paw so pitifully, like she was hrt. After they were all on and I let her off the chain, she ran around in repeated circles. It was so funny, watching her try and figure out if she could walk. She kept sniffing her feet, I feel sorry or her next owner, I know she'll figure out a way to pull them off. The next rtime I put them on she ran back in forth repeatedly, instead of in circles. She also wouldn't sit or lie down with them on at first, I thnk se didn't think she could with them on her feet lol. One other story worth writing (especially since Jenn said she had nver had this happen before lol) involved our trip to the New Jersey train station. We were going up the stairs to the train, which were very steep and far apart. Keisha had this wonderful habit of going up the first few stairs very calmly, lulling me in to a false sense of security, and then bolting up the last few. She proceeded to do this on the train steps, which resulted in me completely losing my grip on the harness and the leash. I am so greatful Jenn was on the train firstand was able to get hold of her. I wish I could have seen her face lol, the tone wasso incredulous lol. I also detached her from the leash multiple times but Jenn said she had seen that done before. Keisha ran me in to a wall at head level on one of our trips, an then the next block over she didn't clear a parked car lol. I think it was payback for some prceived injury to her lol. I also liked how on certain days when I would go to put her harness on, she would just flopdown and sprawl out lol, "I don't want to go work today." It's so neat, when I decided to try for the dog, my family prayed that the right dog would be there. She really was the right dog to teach me abot myself and about loving a pet, which is something I really hadn't experienced before. | | |
| Well, I figured I should write one more entry from the Seeing Eye; I'm leaving tomorrow, should be back in Tallahassee by 5:30 pm. So today was pretty quiet, as you can imagine lol. I went to church this morning again with the instructor and some other students, that was nice. I didn't have to get up at 6:30 this morning for relieving time, I thoroughly enjoyed that fact. Shayna and Vickey came to visit today, it was so great to see them again. They decided I shouldn't go home without a dog, so they bought this lifesized stuffed german shepherd. All the dogs kept looking at it as I was carrying it back to my room lol, people were having to correct their dogs for being distracted. It was pretty funny. Let's see, what else... I'm going to miss the food here, we had fudge brownies for dessert last night... Keisha is back in the kennels, I think she'll be fine. I'd love to know who she gets placed with. I'm all packed, which is good. About to go play air hockey; I love air hockey, although I'm very bad at it. I'm always scoring it in my own goal. It's been such a great learning experience these past few weeks. I learned I can pick up dog crap (at 5:30 am no less) and not have anything horrific happen to me, I learned I can brush a dog's teeth, that I think I would like to have a pet dog at some point, and that I prefer a cane for travel. I'd say it was worth it. I got to watch other students learn about their dogs and begin to bond with them and grow together as a team; I can't wait to hear how they all turn out. | | |
| At first I wasn't sure I wanted to write this all down so soon, but I want to before I forget. I made a decision today that I didn't expect to make, and now that it's done, I feel so much more at peace and have such a sense of relief. While I've been here, I've had time to think about how I travel with a cane, and with the dog while in training. I've had time to compare and think about what matters to me. I've also had time to really notice, from a real, hands-on experience, the differences between the to methods and the advantages and disadvantages of each. Before deciding to come to the Seeing Eye for a dog, I did a lot of research. I read extensively, talked to a lot of guide dog users, joined mailing lists... Everyone loved having a dog, and I went in to it sort of asuming that I would too. It sounded like such a good thing. As I began working with Keisha, I saw things I liked, easier navigating around things, and a more fluid pace. But I also began to struggle with the huge decrease in tactile information that having a dog brings, as opposed to the cane, which almost is the other extreme, sometimes to much tactile. I saw that I was struggling with the lack of tactile, which I thought, was something I would love not having. It was also proving much more difficult than I'd thought to be fully aware and alert as to what the dog was doing or not doing, traffic, the sun (which I use for directional cues), significant landmarks being passed (stores etc) and any other environmental cues all at once. I kept having trouble being aware of her and keeping up with all of that, one of those two things would suffer, and either way, it caused problems. But I wanted this to work, partly because I had become emotionally attached to her and also because, well I don't know exactly, I guess I thought I should just love it, like so many others did. And I did like certain aspects of it, and I kept trying to only focus on those, and just didn't want to look at the overall picture of traveling in general. I went with the class supervisor again today, for another trip, and I had a moment of clarity that I know was from God. I had been praying about this, that I would know what the right decision would be, of whether or not I could handle a dog. As I was working with her, trying to keep her from veering while crossing, keep track of her and not let her turn, try and get back on track after she veered toward another Seeing Eye van, it suddenly hit me. I could be 2 blocks ahead with my cane athis point, I'm more comfortable with my cane overall, and this amount of work and awareness that is required on my part when working with a dog, just isn't worht it to me right now. Maybe that doesn't sound like a huge deal, but when that became clear in my mind, it felt good. When I actually said all of that to the superviser, as hard as it was to say, once the words were out, it felt good. I just work better with a cane, and that's ok. I don't mean that there aren't things about having a guide dog that are better or easier than with a cane, but looking at how I work and what I prefer, a cane just is the best way for me. The staff has been wonderful, they said they have only positive things to say about my work and travel skills, and that if at a later point, I decide to try again, it would definitely be a possibility to reapply. Luke had been praying for me and clarity, but he said he was expecting clarity relating to work with the dog, that things would fall in to place in that respect. God answered and gave me clarity, just not in the way eihter of us expected lol. I really hadn't considered the option that I wouldn't like working with a dog lol, I just assumed I would like it and it would be so much better than a cane. I hated having to leave Keisha, I let htem take her this morning, along with all her stuff (including the toy I bought her). It was better for me that way, emotionally, and I think, or hope at least, better for Keisha. She'll be put in the September class, hoepfully she'll be matched with a great person. She is such a calm, steady dog, they really did amazing with the matching. I'm going to mis her, but honestly more as a pet; the work in harness was just not what I expected or wanted. I learned a lot from all of this, just from the attachment and separation from her, and about myself. Anyway, I don't have much else to say, but I wanted to write all of this down. | | |
|
